Mirror Mysteries

Living With Mosaic Downs Syndrome [ M.D.S. ] Inspiration in abilities

Listening to: “??”   Mood: “very annoyed”

Okay, this is a topic that is on several levels where I’m preaching to the choir here, yet. Why I chose this video – is the very real thing of influence in the mainstream industry and also on another level to the shock when I introduce myself as a person with Mosaic Down Syndrome [something that can be showcased as a disability] then proceed let them know I have a son. Now, providing with that before I get into this [it is your choice to watch this video]. There is a part in the lyrics of the song that states “what we do is innocent, just for fun and nothing meant” there’s a blanton disregard to consequences like unplanned pregnancies,  STD’s, and well unprotected sex. Now, before my words might put a foot too far into the back of my throat here…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QubWKLQUrN0

Let me remind people. I will never, and have never endorse irresponsible actions, nor make excuses for anyone else’s, and I might not have a pay-check as Miss Spears does at the end of the day waking up with and doing advertisements such as this, I dedicate my time, efforts, and heart to the very real direction and cause of helping people by counsel, friendship, respectfully planning and advocating for the future in being accountable in retrospect and connection to future consequences. And with all I put a smile on my face at the end of each day knowing full well, I have a responsibility to the impressionable readers, and listeners whom I advocate for and you know what….I Love What I do! Sure, I’m not rich – Yet, I’m not poor either – and I know the implications that might be directed to me by writing about this, yet I’m damn proud of who I am and I can take more than you can imagine, all you have to do is ask… don’t feel embarrassed to ask me important parental questions because of my MDS, I’m human too just as you are. And I don’t know this little blonde in this very promiscuous video, I don’t care to. Yet, I get extremely furious when, I’m put into the position where my accountably in daily responsibilities are even for a second defined me as a hypocrite.  Yes, I have a son, I adore him! I have an 8year old that has a form of Autism, I take care of them both equally 100% and I love being with their mother to my full potential, and why I put the video in here… is I guarantee all parents. ALL PARENTS, when I talk to others I know there’s a moment where this thought comes in their heads “Wow, Casey Morton has a son, and he has a disability!” You know what I do when I have all eyes on me, and I feel the world is against me – I put in music, and I channel it by writing. I do not, go out and become an irresponsible parent, nor man and shape my self into a very stereotypical male about things. I am very Anti-typical. But this isn’t just about me either.

Let me reassure you all, the accountability I put on myself for the circle of implications that surround this particular topic of actions stated in this video, is exactly the irresponsible weight that others put on those that can’t, are afraid to, and or don’t know how to advocate for themselves, and the pressure this topic has on even the parents to talk about it can be equally hard. It is the social part of life that is very hard for anyone to talk [disabled nor not] about. Yes, I can be a very much a “in your face” person. Yet, this subject can very much have in your face consequences. And it is better to talk about it, than to listen to perpetual lyrics that are fed into impressionable ears and me say nothing

… let me end this by giving you a scenario…. A person with addictive personality and knowing full well what they do continues to go out to a club every night, and picks up a people without protection and with alcohol constantly in their systems gets pregnant, and still goes out after the fact and then gives birth to a baby that is the center of their world, and that could have very real implication of a baby born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome!!  https://health.google.com/health/ref/Fetal+alcohol+syndrome  and wakes up after recovery of the birth makes a video like this!! This person, is a hypocrite!

Talking does help.

Living With Mosaic Downs Syndrome [ M.D.S. ] & reflecting on pride.

Living With Mosaic Downs Syndrome [ M.D.S. ] & simply updating.

Listening to: Within Tempation w/ Chris Jones “Utopia”  Mood: “Clear”

It’s been more than a month since I’ve blogged last. I had to seriously work on things, and the [my] family in that time. I needed to get I guess a simple update up.  I’m not sure when I’m going to have a full update. As of right now, I’m more than extremely happy with my progress and where I’m going with things. Very calm, very clear, and a direct road to great future prospects for me and my family and over coming the ecomony a bit.

And must say  from last this time last year, till now “work on today, so that tomarrow can better” state-of-mind has served me very well. This next year is going to be awesome!!

How do we know what we do on a regular basis is a definitive positive, or negative. Now, I don’t believe things aren’t as perpetual as they may seem, the your days may differential but, it’s something to always work on… Like constant homework, your [despite myself] own IEP! Constantly second guessing myself or others and who you accommodate you, or you to others.

is there a third choice? After positive and negative: “Neutral” Or a fourth “all of the above”. A person puts them selves somewhere, a stage, ladder, a map, a high–chair, or something that would prove to them their day went well or not. What if it’s none of the above? I guess that would be a bit of a nihilistic way of thinking but who’s to say that is you, without your initial approval! Besides if I was nihilistic, I would believe in nihilism… that isn’t fairly true either.

See, I believe that “life in general” is very easy, it may take some time to figure yourself out, and to put your self on the first step on the ladder, but it’s the people around you that definitively help how many steps you have and make life complicated. Now the perspective is what after all things considered?? “how do you want too live your day” what gets you going; could be something “Simple & Negative”, or something “Complicated & Positive” my answers is this:

“I am very typical, but I refuse to be normal.” Funny huh! 

When, I have a time when I guess I feel bland. I do what I can without to much emotion, and feel just like a simple robot in the main scheme of things. Like a charactor without demensions in what would seem like a dull way of doing daily rituals, yet it’s just how I get when I have a block in my head on talking to people.  

Then I tend to gravitate to nonstop music; like I have been doing during the recent days. And transform into magnet to find an emotion,  melody, voice, lyric or something to bring me back into it. metal hasn’t done it, Rap/hip-hop not a clue, I refuse country, nothing sticks in punk, 80’s? [my favorite ara of music, and best] almost there…. I’m starting to feel something again.  Industrial? No, No mechanical sound boxes can get into my spine, and get me to stand up straight.  There’s nothing in Pop music that can reach me since the death of it, in the early 90’s…. Nothing. what do I do? I’m doing everything right in everything else, I dont know what to do, but something in my head is missing. Then, simply talking through text with my awesome and beauiful girl-friend there’s something that I had almost forgot and it CLICKS! I needed something completely original. Now some people may bbe wondering why, I’m writting about music like it’s food for me… well, it is. It’s food-for-thought.  And here I am, getting myself a good inspiration inbetween things.

This has some of the best lyrics, and a dab into rock, and punk. you have the a voice that was on broadway, and it’s been around for years… I can’t stand music, or people for that matter that have no originality to them I get annoyed, and pick out what I dont like, and kinda sulk! Ick. I dont like that but rather yell, and being a typical “playground bully” and just go to the nearest person and cut on them. I close my eyes, and listen to what will inevitably help my mood. I was told, I’m a complicated person… funny! I dont see it, but I’m only human,

The last verse especially gets to me! I can very much relate.

Living With Mosaic Downs Syndrome [ M.D.S. ] & Simply Writting.

Music: Pandora Radio “Beyond the North Waves“ Immortal ” Mood: “what ever mood a typical monday gives you” 

I’ve said over, and over how happy I am, and proud of myself and the people around me. And after the conference I’ve had more people talk to me, and new project to do, my success is know where I’d ever thought. Considering I am now on the B.O.D.  Board Of Directors, and the New NewsLetter Editor, for Mosaic World. 

And I still listen to my metal,  I still love to write, I’m writting even more now! Which makes me entirely happy! I sit down with my Coffee, and coffee cake my son is sleeping, writing another entry and just simply happy that I am still me. I on a personal level thought for a long time living with my MDS rather than against it would be very hard.   And honestly I dare not fully go into it right now for the very real fact that I wont stop writing with a bit of a dreary, and somewhat gloomy feel to it. And I just dont want to fight with myself anymore in that manner!! I like being  happy, and I’m simply still ME. I said it before, but I believe it…  “I had to fully get lost to find myself back home” And the only person that could help me was really… myself, and the people who really stood by me, and loved me through, the years, and believed in my abilites without titles/judgements/ and listened to me.  So, I can listen, and believe in others more and better.

… now, I’m going to have me a cigarette.  

Living With Mosaic Downs Syndrome [ M.D.S. ] & Personal Growth.

Music: Overcome“ Within Temptation ” Mood: “Content”

After my 6:30pm flight to Dallas Fortworth was cancelled I had to very quickly make a decision to stay at the CVG Airport [which is was what I wanted] and having less stress. This situation gave me another choice and level of stress to also commit energy to  realize myself i another Hotel, on a airport Voucher in the Comfort Inn, for a night with every color of brown I believe known to man! In one room. I loved all of what the conference gave me, yet the adventure coming home know one expected! So, I had to push the fact that this was the very first time ever traveling alone, and quickjl;y learnoing the ropes of 4 airport schedules, and provide myself the confidence to wake-up my pride and set a alarm clock which looked acient for 5:00am.  After waiting for an hour talking on my cell updating family at home, with 1 single bar left on cell getting my point across even faster!  I finally called the hotel myself, and asked what the deal was. to have me a picked up so I could start to plan a very copmplicated morning to also have a 5:30 wake-up call and then to be shuttled back to the CVG Airport at 6:30 so I would be fully covered and on time for my next flight at 8:55am. Mind you I’ve never done anything like this, but now writing this at 7:16am and on time, infront of my gate. I was surprised to know, that I did everything right!

Talking to my Girl-friend, shana, and father last night. Coming back in a hurry, to aid my son who went to the hospitol and now has staples in the back of his head becuase someone was NOT watching him at daycare and fell hard getting a call 15mins after landing in Cininnati I was worried all weekend long! I’m going to be back home before night fall today. I atte me a standard rush,ed dinner that considerted I didn’t have to much to work with in terms on food, and did notr want oto leave my brown rainbowed room. I’m sure they’re nice people and good staff there, yet my knowlegde of a empty beer bottle, and miller genuine draft bottle cap was something I bypassed to simply leave out any or other stress on what I had in my head at that moment! And the need to have a cigarette was a great! In conversation with my girl-friend shana I always included, with my “I love you’s” I always added “I’m on my way back home” I always said this!

So in attempting to come back home, running aganst time, quick decision making, deliberation, and a heart-felt attitude on the engine that died on me to delay me. I’ve also been listening to from a dedication to me “Halo” From Beyonce’ and “mad” from Ne-yo. Everything is perfect and in line from my on-the-go plans. I’m going to Minneapolis, Min to connect to my last flight to Portland, Or PDX Airport. No matter what the situtaion was I always knew that shana was taking care of my son, and his brother to the best of her abilities. Her and I definatley have had our MOMENTS.  That is just a given! And I can’t wait to see those 2pair of blue eyes in both my boys, and the dragon green eyes on her face when I’m done being mobile and in my home state. Check Ronins’ head, and see how those staples are doing in the back of his head from falling! I got that knowledge after I got off my plane to the hotel and be the Conference Assistant, and Self Advocate for the IMDSA’s 4th Biennial Research & Awareness Conference, at the Sheriton Hotel, in Cininnati and commit, and dedicate my self willingly, and help with everything “Casey’s my right hand man” a statement made by a good-friend, and co-worker Kristy Colvin The President. with what was going on at home with ronin, and what was pyhiscally infront of me I was not about to dissapoint anyone even in portland several states away! In attempts to keep my head-up, my pride awake, and one foot infront of the other! [my son, brother, and shana will be coming with me next time!] A deliver my abilities in the best way I know how, and I feel I did a great job and being balanced! in an adventure for the representation of why I  made my trip to begin with “stand with pride”

This morning I bought me my starbucks Venti white triple shot, with no whip  mocha , and McDonalds breakfast burritos. I’m on my way home, after a huge experience in a weekend I’ll emotionally, physically and mentally never forget… and I’d do it all over again, without ronins’ head injury of course!

I remember so many people tell me what I can’t do, and what I shouldn’t do from something that was put on me not by choice but compromising and in trust on what fate gave me… I have Mosaic Downs Syndrome, and I can do more than what people may think, or expect! “watch me” I am home, and safe from airport chaos and feel very accomplished on the entire experience. I was never good in school, and was slightly a troube maker at one  point or another. But, I had to get lost physically, emotionally, and mentally to find my way back home on alot of levels, and I feel that was something I did on my own.  I’ve learned to take the high road, and balance myself. so, I can better each situation and all around me in the perspective, on something very simple, yet very direct “dont tell me what I can’t do” So, if you’re a parent or family member involved with Down/s, And or Mosaic Down/s we will surpise you… And I recommend the book “America According to Connor Gifford” a presentor, and a friend of mine.

A simple entry, morning already interesting…  Hoping, I dont really have to call a cab! Oh well. I’ll be back, this is what’s supposed to happen opn a morning oa plane travel.. alittle chaos!

Living With Mosaic Downs Syndrome [ M.D.S. ] & Life.

Music: September Sun “Type- O -Negative ” Mood: “Content”

I think 4 to 5 years ago In Salem, Oregon I would’ve gone stir-crazy,  felt like I had to do something [which I am] spent money either I should or should not spend. I said to myself Carl’s Jr for Lunch today. Now any other time in my early days or others that might conceive this to be weird odd, or what not but you know I’m enjoying the fact that I have a coffee maker that works with little creamer other than none, I love the fact that I can savor a simple can of spaghetti Garlic, and Mushroom sauce and eat it like soup.

It’s not that I need very little to get me by, or that i’m perhaps could live with or without things…. It’s the real fact that I’m living.  And I know just how special, I am and the people all around me.The biggest reason I’ve not written is I refuse to mix my family, and the people I work with on a regular bass together. Because I really dont want anything to become perpetual. Yet the smallest thing is what is getting me to write, like what I can live without in terms of food. A very weird subject to write about yes. I guess, I’m just so proud of myself, my family by choice: my love, my son and his brother and my biological family Father, grandparents, brother, mother, and sister.

And uit was the smallest things today I noticed that got  me to this emotion. Well, one small grain of sand is a start  and can be a difference to a awesome view over a beach, and ocean view or a dried out lake in a dead-wooded forest.. [yes, I like metaphors]

Living With Mosaic Downs Syndrome [ M.D.S. ] & Life.

Music: Halo “Beyounce’” Mood: “I’m organizing my mood, by this blog”

It can be so very hard for me not to overreact at times, not making to much sense getting cryptic,  over emotional, but still very angered then enter the first sign of  either opposition to my mood, or challenging me by  someone saying/doing/looking at me wrong without me getting handed the title, and sometimes face of the “Dramatic Casey” cycle stay away blunder in all the emotions inside of me in all it’s glory.

So, I just acknowledge that side of me, then end it and continue on with my choices happily, and with pride. with irrevocable love to Shana Lynn.

And the smart, and best thing I can do right now for myself and that person is know I’ve done what I know is right for the family I want and in my life with actions make the effort to acknowledge all, act my age, put my  love priorities equally with hers and hope people will join us when they are ready. The biggest problem with things as a youth was being lonely and still being around people.  There go you; I love everyone, and invite everyone in with me. Thank you all.